Ally and Elly: The Strength of Shared Experiences

For 14-year-old Elly, soccer had been a part of her life since she was 4.

So, when doctors recommended spine surgery to prevent her scoliosis from progressing, her biggest questions weren't about the procedure itself. They were about whether she'd be able to get back on the field.

"I was terrified I wasn't going to be able to play soccer again," Elly said. "I was really scared about going under, too."

As Elly and her mom, Laurel, prepared for surgery, they met with Kylie Chupka, MS, CCLS, a child life specialist at Shriners Children's New England.

Patients facing surgery often wonder whether it will be painful, how long recovery will take, and when they'll be able to return to school, sports and the activities they love. Parents have questions about pain management, recovery at home and how to best support their child through the process.

"As a child life specialist, it's my role to help prepare patients for what surgery day will look like, explain anesthesia in a way that makes sense to them and give patients and families plenty of opportunities to ask questions," Kylie said. "But sometimes patients can also benefit from talking with someone who has been through the same experience."

Kylie knew just the person.

Earlier that year, 14-year-old Ally had undergone scoliosis surgery at Shriners Children's New England. A competitive cheerleader, Ally had faced many of the same fears Elly was experiencing.

"I dedicated so much of my time to cheer," Ally said. "I was nervous that my tumbling days would be over, but I knew surgery was the right decision for my future."

With the support of her family and care team, Ally worked through recovery and gradually returned to the activities she loved.

Along the way, she realized there was one thing she had missed during her own journey.

When Kylie introduced the two girls, the connection was immediate. "I was nervous because I didn't know her," Elly admitted. "But Ally was very sweet and helped me understand parts of the healing process that only another patient would think to talk about."

While doctors, nurses and child life specialists could explain the surgery itself, Ally was able to answer the questions only another teenager might think to ask.

She told Elly about choosing music to play in the operating room, what it felt like waking up from anesthesia, and the temporary numbness she experienced during recovery. "She helped with a lot of things that only another kid would think about," said Elly.

One conversation stood out more than any other.

Despite everything she had gone through, Ally told Elly that if she had to make the decision again, she would still choose surgery. "It made me feel like it wasn't that big of a deal," Elly said. "Like it was worth it in the end."

As surgery day approached, Elly found herself returning to those words. "I actually kept repeating that in my head," she said.

The support didn't end there.

After Elly's surgery, Ally and her mom, Krystal, visited her in the hospital with flowers and chocolate. Later, when recovery felt overwhelming one evening, Ally spent nearly an hour on the phone reassuring Elly that what she was experiencing was normal and encouraging her to keep going.

The connection between the families became just as meaningful. Having another parent to text about medications, recovery and the questions that arise after leaving the hospital brought comfort in a way only someone who had lived through the experience could. "If there was something I felt silly asking the doctors, I could reach out to another mom who had been through it," Laurel said.

Looking back, Laurel saw a change in her daughter after meeting Ally. "I knew Elly was scared about the surgery, but after talking with Ally, she seemed much more comfortable with it," she said.

The experience also had a lasting impact on Ally.

As Elly continued to reach out with questions and share her progress, Ally realized how much her support mattered. "I really felt like I was making an impact," Ally said. "I could answer questions because I'd been through it myself, and I think that helped her feel more comfortable."

Krystal noticed it, too. "It made her happy to help," she said. "Everything we went through ended up helping another family, and that meant a lot to us."

For Kylie, that's exactly what makes the Shriners Children's care model unique.

"A patients medical care is an important part of their story, but so is making the patients feel safe, understood and supported," Kylie said. "When we can connect families who have shared experiences, we're supporting not only the child but the entire family. Those relationships remind patients that someone else has been where they are, and that can make all the difference."

Today, Elly is back on the soccer field, and Ally has returned to cheering and tumbling. The two girls and their families keep in touch, connected by a friendship that began with a shared diagnosis but grew through shared experience. What started as a simple introduction became a source of encouragement, understanding and confidence, proving that sometimes the most powerful support comes from someone who has already walked the same path.